Later Is Not a Time, Dear

Whenever I said, “ I'll call you later, Mummy” — she'd answer,

“Later is not a time, dear.”

Things our mothers said. Way back when. You know. Then one day her line comes out in your voice and you understand what she was saying and why: More than correcting my teen grammar she was correcting my relationship with time.

Later, it turns out, is where we often hide what we don’t want to do. A call. A hard conversation. An apology. My mother didn’t let me defer. Instead she taught me presence is the whole inheritance.

I say that now to my ‘bonus’ goddaughter (19), when she says she'll call me back. That's how the good lines travel — between women, across decades.

Last year, she gave me a necklace I've worn every day since: an infinity sign encrusted with tiny diamonds. Most Mother's Day gifts thank women for what they did. Past tense.

Infinity is a claim on the future.

Watching her older brother’s college graduation with her last week was one of the greatest joys of my life. The moment they called his name to walk across that stage, our whole section lit up like he was Mick Jagger in a cap and gown with an honors tassel! I've shown up for every milestone for them I could reach because of the woman who taught me that present was the only tense that counts.

Here's what I want to offer our Biography community this Mother's Day:

Mothering is a practice before it’s a relationship. Biology is a component of motherhood, but not a necessary one. If you do what a mother does for someone other than your child - show up for them, love them, guide them, protect them - you're a mother to them. And if you are, this day is yours.

At Biography, skin is much the same: not something to alter or conceal, but a record still in motion. You don’t need to erase where you’ve been to like where you’re going.

The mothering that changes a life shows up on much more than a calendar. It can  be as small as answering the phone at 4am; sending a funny memory; saying “I’ll see” you on a Tuesday - for no reason. 

In any case the time is now. 

Because, “Later is not a time, dear.”

With love,

—Linda Thompson

Founder, Biography